More Joy…Guaranteed
| A lot of things promise to bring more joy into your life, and some (chocolate, other people’s puppies, a really good book) actually deliver. But there’s one trick I’ve found works on a permanent basis: finding joy in other people’s happiness. The great thing is that basking in the joy of others doesn’t diminish their joy, in fact, it often multiplies it. There’s even a Hindi word for this: mudita. One definition states mudita is “sympathetic, vicarious joy; happiness rather than resentment at someone else’s well-being or good fortune.” We in Western society, who are steeped in the need to win at all costs, are often more deeply acquainted with schadenfreude, which translates from the German as “taking pleasure in the misfortune of others.” It’s especially delightful to see the downfall of those with whom we’re in competition, those we see as mean, or folks who are simply and obviously (at least to us) jerks. Psychologists posit what humans seek is meaning and joy. They tell us (and we know from experience) that the thrill of victory, of winning over others, is addicting but temporary. What actually brings long-term satisfaction, meaning and joy to our lives are relationships. Not only deep ones with our significant others, but daily interactions with the mail carrier, the banker, the waitress, and people we don’t even know who are somehow our “friends” on facebook. Conversely, the way to be anxious, disappointed and depressed is to constantly feel the need to achieve, to climb the next mountain, and to compare our achievements to those of others. If you’ve ever heard “second place is first loser,” you know how deeply our society has bought into this. The other false path to happiness, running parallel to achieving, is acquiring. How can we be happy with what we have when others have stuff that’s so much better? The entire advertising community exists to explain why we can’t be happy with what we have. But you knew this already. The fun is in practicing your own joy in other’s good fortune. A first step is to train ourselves to truly listen to others, to ask questions, show we’re interested, and understand why certain things make them happy and celebrate with them..I’ve found when they discover our interest is real and our enthusiasm is true, people blossom. So I invite you to add more joy to your life. It’s already out there for the sharing. |
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