Questions. I’ve got Questions.
As you know, we writers spend our days in deep philosophical reveries, contemplating Life, the Universe, and Everything. However, there are some questions that seemingly cannot be answered, even by fiction. I have started keeping a list, and I present some of them here. If you have any more of these questions yourself–or, have answers to any of these questions (huzzah!) please weigh in.
+ Why is the song “My Way” only sung by known jerks?
+ When did flowers cease to be about fragrance? The idea that we invent roses that look pretty but have no smell amazes me, and not in a good way.
+ Do we really need both “hearty” and “hardy”? It seems either will do.
+ Why do they make it so an $800 dishwasher depends on a 3 cent piece of plastic that holds the detergent chamber closed?
+ Why are the spigots in those lovely beverage dispensers so high up? A good quarter of the drink will be un-pourable.
+Why do people who make toothpaste, dental floss and mouthwash assume everyone likes the flavor of mint?
+ Why do so many people think you need to come to a complete stop in a car before turning right?
+ Why do drivers now assume they MUST pass left-turning cars on the right, even if it’s dangerous, when they only save 10 or 20 seconds?
+ Why do people use “vanilla” to connote something boring or uninspired? I believe the flavor vanilla is phenomenal.
+ Why do they make pens that don’t write? Or at least don’t write for long, and are so choosy about types of paper and surfaces?
+ Why have police vehicles gone from flashing lights to a roadside light show extravaganza that blinds passing motorists?
+ Why do butter pecan and chocolate ice cream taste better when they come together in the same carton, rather than if you scoop them from separate cartons into the same bowl?
+ If the flies who are buzzing against the screen have lived their entire lives inside the house, are they suddenly really confused if they’re loosed into the vast expanse of sky?
+ Does Benedict Cumberbatch smoke simply to keep from being perfect? And can he not think of another fault that wouldn’t kill him?
+ Did they need to pay to install this sign?
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