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Sometimes, Being a Writer Sucks

This is a post I never really planned to write. But the lovely Brie, Arundel’s marketing person,  wants me to start blogging more, and I figure the only way to do it, really, is to tell the truth.

I have a lot of writer friends on social media, and they all seem to be having a swell time. Writing, and kvetching about writing, their books being “blurbed” by major players and being nominated for awards, and they themselves posting selfies while being flown to book conferences all over the globe with their equally exuberant friends of letters. Usually, they are also raising half a dozen children, coaching Little League, and visiting their offspring at Ivy League schools when they’re on break. They also write posts about how they used to only be able to write 30,000 words a day, but now, thanks to wonderful secret algorithms, they’re up to 50,000.

If they’re traditionally published, they lunch with all their well-known peers in NYC; or, if they are now self-published after a successful run in traditional publishing, they’re pulling in hundreds of times their former take because now they get to keep the dough for themselves.

They often also appear on Good Morning, America or jet off to Italy on vacation.

In case people look at the glossy finish of social media and think my writing life is anything like that, I’d like to set the record straight.

Sometimes, being a writer sucks.

The first problem is, I’m never as good as I want to be. There’s a paradigm in my head of the story I’m telling, the book I’m writing, and as hard as I try, I seldom achieve it. I am also writing this post at the particular moment in time because we’re inching towards the finish line on the next Eden thriller, and it’s 85 percent there. Which is a depressing number. The lifeblood and brilliance and paths of engagement with the reader are in that last 15 percent, and, as of now, I don’t know how to get there.

The good news is, it isn’t just this book. It happens in every single novel I write. So I know it is possible to make that last climb, if not to the 100% mark, at least into the 90s. It often has to do with knowledgeable editors showing you which strings to pull to tighten everything into line.

But right now, I’m thinking, even if the plot is pulled into line, I’m not happy with the writing, the characters, the vocabulary, the process. I should know better by now. I should be better by now.

[Famous graph on the creative process:

1. This is awesome

2. This is tricky

3.  This is sh**

4.  I am sh**

5. This might be Okay

6. This is awesome. ]

 

So maybe I’m just transitioning between numbers three and four of the above chart (which was posted on FB by the inimitable composer Skip Kennon) at the moment.

Maybe I’m still sloughing off a surprising and very unprofessional bout with a formerly trusted editor who sort of had a meltdown that had nothing to do with us or our book but was still weird and hurtful and required getting past. Honestly, this happens to everyone in the arts. What many people don’t know is that, no matter how many times you’re published or produced, you are acutely vulnerable when it comes to your art. This is true for artists who give it their all in the quiet of their rooms, and no one ever sees their work, as it is for those who publish constantly.

Then, there is the fact that you’re never truly “off.”  I wake up at 4 a.m. and know I should spend the awake time figuring out what’s going on in my latest project. And I drive my husband to the bus at 5:30 a.m. and know I need to come home to write. I’m trying hard to learn how to complete deadlines and not feel guilty for missing time with my family and friends. I am learning to enjoy the precious time with them, even if I hear the tick tick tick of deadlines, like Captain Hook’s crocodile, behind me.

You’d think I’d have this all figured out by now.

You’d think I’d figure out how to have time left over to clean my house.

But, even writing this, I know how truly lucky I am.

I have the world’s best co-authors and editors and publishing pros and marketing folks around me. Some of the coolest people in the world (and I’m counting YOU) have read some of my books and enjoyed them.

Cause, when it comes right down to it, what I love is the work of writing. It’s hard and irritating, but I get to spend months and years with characters I love going to places all around the world (at least in my mind) and learning all kinds of cool stuff I’d never ever know otherwise. I know how many stories there are at the Eiffel Tower and truly bizarre stuff about wine making. I can describe, in detail, vineyards in China, discuss inheritance laws in France, and parks and cafes in Argentina. I know how to get up to the top of the bell tower of Cadet Chapel at West Point (okay, I’d probably know that anyway).

In any case, I can’t leave Jaime and Yani and Mark Shepard at 85%. Can’t do it. Will fight through this one more time and make it out the other side. You’ll have to decide for yourself if we made it into the 90s or not.

But just so you know, when you read chipper posts about new Audio books (way cool) and and blog tours and book signings–well, it isn’t all a heady rush of achievement. In fact, it hardly ever is. But we often pretend for the lovely folks in marketing. So, Brie, this one’s for you.

xo Sharon

Eden 4–Two Big Reveals

 


pyramids-at-night-giza-egypt+1152_12981244591-tpfil02aw-30783How about the title and the plot. Are those big enough reveals for you?

The title at this time is PLAGUES OF EDEN.

Not the virus kind of plagues or the zombie kind of plagues–the Biblical, Egyptian type of plagues.

And we do realize that the word “Plague” is, in and of itself, a grim word. We’re hoping that, paired with the word/concept of Eden, it will become intriguing.

Because the plot is about a villain who is reigning the 10 plagues of Egypt on the modern world–in updated forms, of course.

It’s also about relationships–between nations, peoples, and the characters, of course. Jaime and Yani. Jaime and Shepard, Shepard and Yani(!) and others.

Hope you’ll come on the adventure with us. It will be out in Spring 2014. God willing, and the plagues under control.

 

 

 

Handy Dandy Chart to write Your Own Eden Thriller (or, Really I Shouldn’t Show You This)

I keep threatening to get B.K. a t-shirt that says, “Another Boring Day at West Point.” Because, actually, of course, there ARE no boring days at West Point.

Last night she had some free time because the cadets are gone for Spring Break, and well, because it was nighttime and she wasn’t Duty Chaplain.  We decided to go out for supper while we were working. When we got back, the whole driveway to her place (not to mention, the Cadet Chapel) was filled with police cars and firetrucks. Definitely one of those, “Please don’t tell me my house burned down,” moments. (Especially since the Chaplain’s dogs were home.) But it turned out there was a water main break in the water station just across from the Chapel, and hundreds of gallons of water were gushing down the steps and into the road running down toward the Hudson.

They told us to check the basement of B.K.’s home, which we did, but it was dry as a bone, and, more importantly, the dogs were fine. gathering of chaplains

Just the week before, of course, she had officiated at Norman Schwarzkopf’s funeral, and a few days later, gone down to D.C. to help celebrate 40 years of women in the military chaplaincy. But, to tell you the truth, those aren’t even the most interesting things.  But it does help explain why plotting time is so precious.  (This is a photo of chaplains from each of the branches. They happen to be standing in front of a large photo of B.K. to the left, when she was the female division chaplain in combat.)

There comes a time in the writing of the books when we have divided things up, and can write separately. It’s the beginnings parts–the plotting and character development–that we need to work on together. In fact, I probably shouldn’t show you this, but here is the Eden Grid for the last three books–which will tell you what we wrestle with at the beginning of this new book. (Yes, you may now use this to write your own Eden thriller.)

SUPER SECRET EDEN PLOT GRID: 

A Really Cool Biblical Site to runaround in:

Chasing  (Ur, Babylon, Southern Swamplands—Eden)

Beyond  (Patmos)

Treasure  (Judean Wilderness, caves of the Essenes/Gardeners)

Eden 4:

A Really Cool Maguffin (i.e. what it seems like everyone’s chasing after):

Chasing:  The missing Sword of Eden

Beyond:  The Missing Children of Terris/Eden

Treasure:  The Missing Ancient Messenger Box

Eden 4:

What’s everyone’s REALLY after:

Chasing: The entry to Eden

Beyond: Eternal Life (Is John still alive in the cave under the Monastery?)

Treasure:  The Greatest Treasure in his/her own life; the Entrance to Eden/the Gardener Gospel

Eden 4:

Other issues the reader should probably think about:

Chasing: war; looting of antiquities; corporations running the world;

Beyond: what is your plan to get off this earth? Are you planning for the rapture till you’re no earthly good? Do you want to live forever if science can swing it?

Treasure: what is most important to you? And are you even aware of the world economy and how those running it can affect YOU?

Eden 4:

Levels of bad guys chasing the same thing you are:

CHASING:  Frank, Garrick, Murdoch guy, Saddam Hussein

BEYOND: kidnapper/killer lady,  guy paying for experiments, people staging visions of the Rapture

TREASURE: Frank, eBay guy, J. Aldrich Woodbury, Frank.

EDEN 4:

What we learn about Jaime:

Where we see Jaime Chaplaining towards the beginning (yes, we use it as a verb):

Chasing: the soldier whose friend was killed

Beyond: the injured soldier on the plane

Treasure: the general and the soldier in surgery

Flashback scene from her past:

Chasing: Getting the word that Paul died, falling in love with the Muslim boy and being sent from the camp

Beyond: The seeds of her healing/becoming a minister in plane with pastor

Treasure:  Her wedding to Paul

Eden 4:

Romantic/Sexual crisis:

Chasing: Who is this cute guy and why am I tied up on his lap? Do I trust him with my life?

Beyond:  Whydid Yani kiss me like he meant it and then turn everything off? And of course I have to completely undress him to save his life.

Treasure: I can have fantasy-setting sex with a rock star, but all I really want is Yani. Who won’t engage, even if I (truly) kill myself to find him.

Eden 4:

And thereby hangs a book. How hard is that, right?

Jaime’s Best Friend

 

High school graduation. A few years ago.

High school graduation. A few years ago.

As you might assume, B.K. and I are big believers in female friendships. We got to know each other back in elementary school, when you had “best friends,” and she has kept that title for decades. Old friends, new friends, family who are friends, friends who are family–that’s often what gets us through.

As we begin Eden 4, the question arises, Who is Jaime’s best friend?

So far, we’ve seen her off on adventures, not even getting a snapshot of her stateside, or in a house that’s not a hooch.

We’d like your thoughts about just who Jaime would choose as a best (female) friend.

Is she also in the military?

Is she a high school friend who now has a family and runs a farm stand?

A high school friend who has become Lara Croft (and Jaime feels her life pales in comparison)?

Is it her brother’s wife? The sister of her high school boyfriend from BEYOND?

We’d love to know your thoughts. Please leave them in comments on this post–and you might have created a new character!

Jaime and Yani show up

We had to back in to working on Eden 4. By that I mean we started with “just the facts, ma’am.” cadet chapel

Each book covers the space of 3 to 4 days. So, which three to four days were we looking at? Book 3, TREASURE OF EDEN, ends on January 29, 2007. So, on a sunny winter day at West Point, we pondered: Do we pick up with J & Y shortly after their return from Eden, or do we skip ahead to present day?

One of the great things about working with B.K. is her thought processes. She can think like a novelist, she can think like a chaplain, she can think like an Army officer. To that end, a major component of the Eden bible (ironically titled, I know)  is the arc of Jaime’s military career—when she is promoted and where she is posted thereafter.  B.K. understands why the military sends chaplains of certain ranks and expertise where they do. So the vast majority of where Jaime is posted is what makes sense; the deciding factor is what would be  fun for us as authors.

And, more specifically, what would give us some juicy prospects for plot and character situations and interactions.

B.K. and I  know, in broad terms, the next arc of Jaime and Yani’s relationship, and the challenges they encounter.  So, having decided Jamie’s next promotion and where she’d end up after her deployment in TREASURE, and when those all-important 3 days would be, we started talking about the “character opening” of the book. Unlike the “plot opening,” which sends the plot roaring off, the “character opening” is where we find our heroes, what they’re doing, the challenge they’re up against, and what is likely driving Jaime  crazy.

So here is the inside scoop: Book 4 will take place in November of 2007. At least three other characters from the first trilogy will show up in the first “character” scene. They won’t all necessarily be thrilled to see the others. It’ll be great fun (for us, if not for them).

As the scene started to solidify, B.K. and I went out for Mexican food. And that’s when Jaime and Yani showed up. It was entertaining, knowing what Yani would orchestrate to drive Jaime crazy—but in a loving way, of course. What is Yani’s Terris identity? Who do Jaime’s friends think he is? Who ARE Jaime’s friends?hacienda

It was only then that the characters started talking back—to us, to each other, to themselves. And, hallelujah, they were as full of piss and vinegar and life and humor and craziness as they were when we finished TREASURE.  I recognized the voices immediately.
Fortunately, Jaime brought a muse  into the colorful, chilly Mexican restaurant with her. Or maybe it was the glass of Sangria. But suddenly I saw them talking and laughing and arguing and stomping around, and could only hope they’d wait till I was near a computer or a piece of paper before they kept going. I think B.K. felt the same thing.

Jaime and Yani were back, and, like good friends you’ve been missing, it was great to see them. And to know, once again, it would be all B.K. and I could possibly do to keep up.

Why SERPENT became PLAGUES

A sunny day in my old Upper Village apartment in Manhattan. But  something is amiss: nefarious forces are at work, trying to take over the country.  Fortunately, Judy Dench appears to bring me to the group of resistance fighters uptown.  “We can’t take a cab,” she says. “Kanye is midtown, and they’re not letting anyone through.” So we get into her helicopter. She flies it like a madwoman (perhaps because she doesn’t see so well), but we  make it safely to the meeting of a professional writers organization. It turns out, we writers  are the resistance organization—under the guise of writing fictional plots, we will instead be saving the country. Yep. My fellow novelists, willing to risk their own lives.

I didn’t get to hear the whole plan, because my dog woke me up.  But THIS is one way I know I’m back, working on a thriller.

SO, EDEN 4

BL river in edenB.K. and  originally planned that the fourth book would be Serpent of Eden, the book that takes place IN Eden when Jaime first arrives, in between books one and two (Chasing and Beyond). And we worked on it. We have the first 75 pages. We know all about Eden; we have maps, and topography. We understand  the basic engineering of how it runs, and the differences between life in Eden and life in the Terris world. We knew what happened between Jaime and Yani, and the other  surprises in store for Jaime.

What never felt right, at least to me, was the tone of the book. B.K. and I billed it between ourselves as a “gentle mystery.” But what did that mean? We knew plot-wise, but tone-wise?  Was it like a “cozy” set in Eden? Or was it more like Lost Horizon?  Honestly, I don’t think it’s that we’ll never figure it out. I think it isn’t time yet.

So a year ago, after the e-book versions took off and just kept going, B.K. and I decided Eden 4 would be a thriller, the next in line after Treasure. And yes, because we are comfortable plotting them in three book arcs, likely the first of the second trilogy.

FINDING B.K. TO WORK WITH HER

One of the most interesting things about writing with B.K. is the setting in which we find ourselves. See, she has this other job. And it keeps her so busy (and she is so good at it), that we can only meet to intensively plot books when she takes leave. Usually, I also have to fly somewhere around the world to meet her.  Once things are rolling, we’re good by email and/or Skype. In fact, the second two books were mostly written while she was deployed to war zones. I worried it would be too much for her, but she claimed it gave her another world to escape to when she came back to her hooch at night to decompress.

And we did write Chasing after her first OIF deployment, when she was back Stateside. We started it in the rental house at Lake George, and continued in her Miata on the way home. We’re really really good at plotting in vehicles. We finished up CHASING in a boat going down the Rhine in Germany (after a lunch at a castle perched so precariously that we would start to roar up, and slide back down, and roar back up.)

 chateau frontWe plotted most of Treasure when I met her for a very moving series of wreath-layings and memorial services to celebrate American Memorial Day, in the Champagne region of France. There were still old men who’d fought in WWII, and those who remembered being liberated by the U.S. It was very touching. We fought our way through the plot while staying in a chateau turned b&b, that of course wound up in the book at Mark Shepherd’s house. But I remember hours of driving through the most magnificently stormy French countryside wrestling with the plot. (And also thinking, “if our 6th grade French Underground selves could see us now!”)

Yes, settings from our writing jaunts usually turn up in books. However, often, I have to send B.K. in by herself to get the real scoop. Here she is at the Second Sister, in the ruins of Ur, noted in Chasing.I also sent her to Baghdad Airport, Camp Anaconda, and various other Iraqi locales. Good thinking on my part, let me say. Author at work

So now, B.K. is once again taking leave to work on the plot. This time, I’m driving to her current posting, which, cue the (Army) band, is not only in the same country and the save time zone, it’s 45 minutes from my house!

It’s in West Point, New York, attached to the Cadet Chapel. Yes, with secret bookshelves that swing out and secret rooms with lepers’ windows. That’s where we’re working. Off a Gothic, wood-paneled hallway in a sunny room with a fire in the fireplace, and two dogs settled in for the long haul. Of course we are.

On the rare day that she can take leave, and I can take leave, and the dogs are available, we wade in.

NEXT

Jaime and Yani (and a few other recognizable folks) show up…

Return to Eden

eden 2In recent months I’d almost forgotten what it was like to be caught up in “artistic flow,” when thoughts and ideas start tumbling, scenes start presenting themselves nearly whole, and characters begin to get uppity and say whatever’s on their minds.

Then our publisher politely pointed out that B.K. Sherer and I had agreed to give them the book referred to as Eden 4, and, as the first three Eden thrillers  continued to go great guns, “yesterday” was as good a time as any to get the next book to them.

Writing with a co-author has produced both the most wonderful and most miserable experiences of my literary career. Let me be quick to say there was only one “miserable,” and there were plenty of warning signs, which I chose to disregard due to youth, inexperience and hunger for that particular contract. It was the year I came to understand “Life is Too Short,” not only in my mind, but in my bones. I came out of it having learned not only a valuable lesson, but with–despite everything–a lovely book.

The Edens are the first and only fiction series I write with a co-author. Pre- Edens,  if you’d asked me to write fiction with someone, I would have demurred, not understanding how writing something as personal as fiction–which gets free range inside the author’s internal universe–could be shared.

The Eden series was born in Lake George, NY, on a “girls weekend” shortly after my best friend since elementary school, B.K. Sherer, returned from Operation Iraqi Freedom.  She was by then  a Presbyterian minister, an Army chaplain and an officer.  The minister part, I got, having grown up with one.

The Army chaplain part lost me completely. What had happened when she was Iraq also was beyond my ken. No clue. When she talked about it, in a language that somehow treated alphabetical letters as words, I realized that there was a gulf between our current worlds. (I saw some of that same lack of comprehension in her eyes as I spoke on the phone to my then-toddler daughter.) And there was a decision for both of us.  Did we continue to remain friends up in the simple atmosphere of good movies and Mexican food? Or were we willing to commit to the hard stuff–the unexplored worlds and strange languages?

If you’re reading this, you know the answer. We dove in. The water was deep. But Jaime and Yani–and a whole bunch of wrestling with the meaning of life and death and relationships with God and money and Bedouin tribes and Greek islands were there in the depths. Up to that point, I’d written a number of successful nonfiction books, I’d ghosted for myriads of celebrities, and had hundreds of magazine articles to my name. I’d also come very close to publishing several of the novels I’d written in my little office (closet) under the stairs in my “Upper Village” apartment in NYC.  Chasing Eden was the first novel that I sold to a major editor (Jennifer Enderlin) at a major publishing house (St. Martin’s Press). We got a 3 book contract.

What a journey those three books were. We wrote the other two as she continued to be deployed to Iraq. Three times, total. None of those deployments were easy. Some were harder than others.

We continued to write, by email and Skype, and we met up in Germany and France and Germany again. Her experiences, and my experiences, were folded into the books. (Jaime is NOT B.K.–she is both of us, and, mostly, her own self.) We regained the kind of verbal and nonverbal shorthand we’d shared from sixth grade through high school. I even gained somewhat of a fluency in Alphabet–er, Army.

The fit between B.K. and myself has never been benign. We met in Mrs. Conard’s sixth grade class when she moved to town (my family had moved in a year earlier).  From the get-go, we had the ability to annoy each other on levels usually reserved for siblings and rival political candidates. In some ways, we seemed to be exact opposites–she was athletic, musical, brunette and way too smart, while I was smart and  (as Elphaba would say)  blonde.

But the real reason we had this IAC (instant annoyance capability) was that we were too much alike. We were both  competitive, iconoclastic, imaginative,  adventurous, and stubborn.  We both knew, even at 11, that we somehow wanted to change the world. For the 6th grade talent show, where most of our peers sang or played piano or tap-danced, we co-wrote and co-starred in a play about the French Underground in World War II. We never got together to try out make-up or play Mystery Date. We started a spy organization called D.A.G.G.E.R., co-wrote books about a teen spy group called OOS (the Order of the Orange Surfboard).

Then we graduated from high school. She headed for Florida to become a marine biologist. I headed for Wheaton, Illinois, to become a journalist. Of course, nothing happened the way we’d planned it. I ended up at NYU and she ended up at Princeton Theological Seminary. I came to her graduation. She and my dad traded off being ministers at my wedding; she was also maid of honor and he was also father of the bride.  Then we kind of lost touch for a while. Until she went off to Iraq, and I kind of published one of her letters into a magazine story before she got back. Then we went to Lake George, and Jaime and Yani followed us home.  They had adventures through three books.

And, for 4 years, we knew we had to do a fourth. Last week, we knew (were told) the time had come. And, I was completely at a loss as to what “Eden 4″ would look like.

To be continued…

 

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